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The Naked Truth
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Lesbianation.com, Shewired.com, Gaywired.com,
247gay.com, Latinoglo.com, Queerfuture.com,
Countrygayweb.com, Gaymonkey.com and Grayandgay.com


Do It Yourself with Rosie Fingers, Part 1

Many of us have heard the euphemism, "Rosie Palmer and her five friends." We really don't have a female version for this, so we'll just call it: "Do It Yourself With Rosie Fingers."

Masturbation is the ultimate form of self-help and self-satisfaction. It is definitely taking matters into your own hand, or hands. The plan is for this article to be in two installments. The first giving the benefits of masturbation, and the second will include ways to please yourself. So stay tuned: same dildo time and same dildo channel.

There are so many negative myths tied to masturbation, that we can repeat them without thinking about it. If we touch ourselves THERE we will go blind, loose our hair, get acne, grow hair on our palms, or go crazy. Of course, none of this is true, but when we were kids how many times did you and your friends laugh about people with thick glasses, thinning hair, and scratchy palms? Name your own teenage chuckle, and fit it into the blank spot. We were also told that masturbation would stunt our growth.

Strangely enough, there are so many of us that do please ourselves, that if the myths were true, human beings would be in truly awful shape. We'd be stunted, hairless, acne covered, hairy-palmed, wearing thick glasses, and crazy. We probably wouldn't even be able to walk around with any coordination, and would still be living in trees and hooting at the predators on the plains while practicing self-indulgence to the exclusion of everything else. What an attractive picture that brings to mind.

The funny thing is, that if you have ever watched little kids, it is such a natural thing. Around the age of two or three, most little kids start to notice their genitals, and spend a lot of time manipulating them, because it feels good. There is no sexual fantasy at play for children, just pure unadulterated pleasure. It just plain feels good!

I remember baby-sitting some little girls, one was two and the other three, and when each one discovered their clitoris, their mother told them: "It's OK to touch yourself, but it's not polite to do it when you are around other people."

This is where we get our first direction of a sexual nature concerning what is "good" and what is "bad." Whatever our parents told us, along with the tone of voice they used, their facial expressions and body language, is what formed our earliest impressions about touching ourselves THERE.

Little girls seem to get even less leeway than little boys in this area. Look at the taboos around touching yourself in public. It is common to see women, of any age, looking around to make sure no one sees them, and then pulling their underwear back into place.

Men, on the other hand, (no pun intended) can be seen touching themselves a lot in public--no looking around to see if anyone is watching, no embarrassment, just reach down and yank out the offending underwear, or adjust themselves. I've also seen guys put their hands over their genitals while sitting in a chair or standing. I had a male roommate who would stand around and cup his genitals, just holding them gently, when he was in conversations with people. He was aware he had this habit, but wasn't always aware when he did it, and said that his brother and father did it as well. Can you imagine a woman doing this?

I had a female coworker who was embarrassed by her husband grabbing his crotch all the time. In restaurants, stores, movie theaters, and home he would check to make sure his penis was still attached to his body. His wife told him that if he didn't stop, she'd walk around holding her boob. He didn't and she did. As the story went, he was mortified that she would hold her boob in public, but it was perfectly fine for him to grab himself whenever, and wherever, he felt like it. OK, I will not get on my soapbox about sexual inequalities. Needless to say, he stopped touching himself all the time.

So, what is the truth about masturbation? It takes an interweaving of neurotransmitters and hormones to stimulate the brain chemistry and physical reactions that bring about an orgasm. The wonderful side effects of this help us physically, emotionally, and psychologically. These benefits include: relieving stress, help for insomnia, the release of mood elevating hormones, stimulating the immune system so that it can help improve our health, relaxation of muscles, relief of some of the symptoms of premenstrual issues,and decreasing pain. Some women receive the added benefit of relief of menstrual pain but some do not.

During my partner's and my periods, a common warning is: "Don't even think about touching me!" Just thinking of sex, let alone an orgasm for either of us, doesn't relieve cramps but intensifies them to the point of having to induce an ibuprofen stupor.

Another big plus is that masturbation is the safest sex practice; no condoms, no dental dams, and you also don't have to share your sex toys if you use them--they are yours to do with what you want. There is absolutely no risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease or infection, as long as you keep your toys clean and to yourself.

To wrap this up, and prove The Rolling Stones got it wrong, we can get satisfaction for ourselves with self-stimulation. One of the biggest benefits of masturbation is that you will become more familiar and understanding of your own sexual needs. Once you understand your own needs, you can then share
these insights with your partner, to help her help you become more sexually fulfilled. Learning the things that turn you on and off, and knowing what your sexual responses are, gives you the ability to tell your partner what you do and don't want. You can experiment with yourself and discover how hard, how light, how deep, and how kinky you may want to be, and see if your partner is willing to go there with you.

Until the next installment of The Naked Truth, feel free to take matters into your own rosie fingers.



NOTE:
The advice in this column is the opinion of the writers and is not intended as a
substitute for medical or psychological treatment from a health care professional.


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