| | Coming
Out and Fear Issues
Why do I hate the words we are called?
The word Dyke is a hard one to get a grip on. Im OK with saying Yeah,
Im a lesbo, queer, muff-diving bull-dyke! while joking around with
a bunch of lesbians, but it sounds weird when a straight person calls me any of
those lovely names.
I had someone review How To Be A Happy Lesbian: A Coming Out Guide
who mentioned this:
OUT OF FOUR BOOKENDS
Four bookends is a must read book, featuring positive lesbian imaginga keeper
If you know a young
gal who has decided to follow in Sapphos footsteps, hand her this book.
It is an excellent resource and is sure to answer any question a newly realized
lesbian might have. Written in a systematic, this-is-the-way-I-do-it format, this
humorous encyclopedia of lesbian lore is just a good read even for
those in long-term relationships. Discussing topics such as gay symbols, gay rights,
STDs, famous and not-so-famous lesbians, and movies that shouldnt be missed,
this guide will help young women feel good about themselves and proud of who they
are. It provides a solid framework on which to build self-esteem. I found the
use of some words, such as the word homo, alarming at first but came to understand
that the authors want our community to own the words others use against us so
we can remain undaunted by the slurs. Not necessarily a bad idea.
Valarie Massie Watersun
The Wishing Well Magazine
are words are words. Lots of them sound funny to me. The only thing with women
using the word Gay is that for years our own community has said Gay men
and Lesbians. Also, everywhere you look it is LGBT, which I always list
it as LGBT--ladies first! I ran into some politically correct issues as far as
lesbian vs gay is concerned during my life, so I always refer to myself as just
A big ol Lez! That usually gets some attention and takes the
sting out of the word lesbian
Im not comfortable with the wordswe are labeled with. Is that normal?
pop in here on this discussion concerning words used to describe us, commonly
referred to as labels.
For years, its been Gay Men and Lesbians, not sure why, but when I was writing
the Coming Out Guide, I figured I should do what is politically right for now,
so I mostly used the word Lesbian when describing females who have loving relationships
To me, every word is really weird anyway--if you really think about it. I just
embraced the words people label us with, because I found that once I did, it totally
takes the power out the words used to describe us.
I just said in the mirror over and over: I am a big lez, bulldyke, butch,
queer, homosensual, vagitarian, and I am damn proud to know who I am and accept
myself! This takes the power out of anyone calling me anything because if
I can accept it in myself, then so what if someone else says it to me?
What you are going through is called Normal. For some of us, coming
out and accepting who we are happens when we are really young. I always knew I
was different, fell for my gym teacher when I was 8, then two fellow horse riding
women at 14, and had my first real GF at 15, so I sprung out of the closet early.
it is not unusual to come out later in life. I met a woman preacher a few years
back who came out in her seventies!! At least you are younger than that and have
years to figure it out and have fun doing it.
Again, Im really glad you found our support group. There are lots of women
in here going through similar situations, so you are no longer alone.
If you want to know more about the culture of being a Big lez, bulldyke, butch,
queer, homosensual, vagitarian, be sure to check out the Coming Out Guide.
There are symbols
in there and what they mean, and role models you may not know about, along with
over a years worth of research in Lesbian/Gay/Queer/Homosensual Culture...
Out Advice For Lesbians, Bisexual and Questioning Women
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