Chapter 2 The LGBT Community and Family Life

1. Why is there little unity in our community?
2. Is it bad to raise children in a lesbian relationship?
   
3. My teenage son is really having problems with me being lesbian. I want to be able to be open in our community, but not sure about PDAs?
   
4. My GF wants me to have kids, but I’m 39 and my mind keeps saying “NO!” Is there something wrong with me?
5. The Amazing Shrinking Sex Drive Article by Tracey Stevens and Cathy Wonder Featured on Shewired.com
   
6. Does anyone get to go to their partner’s parent’s house for the holidays, or is it just me?
7. Affairs and the Lesbian Soulmate Fantasy Article by Tracey Stevens and Cathy Wonder Featured on Shewired.com

Chapter 3 Coming Out In School

1. Why am I always attracted to women who are bad for me?
   
2. My GF is leading a double life and having unprotected sex with men and women! What should I do?
   
3. I’m teeter-tottering between my GF and my BF. Should I let God decide?
   
4. My ex GF is making me crazy!
   
5. I’m angry because my GF broke up with me, and I don’t want to date any more women. Can I become asexual?
   
6. My last GF broke my heart, and I’m scared my new GF will do the same
   
7. Why is it hard to break up with an abuser?
   
8. I think I’m the rebound woman, should I break off the affair?
   
9. My GF is married and we’ve been having a secret affair for 22 years. She only sees me when she has time, and I am miserable. What should I do?
   
10. My GF is going back to her ex! I’m devastated by this, what can I do?
    
11. My lesbian partner is an abuser. What should I do?
12. My GF’s Family is awful to her. It’s made her sick, she’s lost her job, and she’s being mean to me.
    
13. I can’t stop thinking about my ex GF even though we are both with other women. What can I do?
    
14. My Ex is Stalking me and threatening me. What can I do?
    
15. How much should I give when my GF constantly threatens to leave if she doesn’t get her way?
    
16. My GF may be cheating on me with her ex! What should I do?
    
17. My GF used to cheat on her ex. Will she cheat on me too?
    
18. My GF won’t work or do anything around the house! My ex also treated me horrible–what can I do?
    
19. My GF can’t decide between me and her BF! This is making me CRAZY! What should I do?
    
20. I’m having an affair with a married woman with kids. What do I do?
    
21. My GF says she loves only me, but she won’t leave her husband. I am miserable, and wondering what can I do?
    
22. My GF and I are in love, but we are both married to men! HELP!
    
23. I’m in love with a woman from my past, but she’s in another relationship. What do I do?
    
24. My GF constantly hurts my feelings. What can I do?
    
25. I’m wanting to have an affair with a woman. whose with someone else. What do I do?
    
26. My Ex is doing drugs again. I want to be a good friend and help her, but what can I do?

READER REVIEW: I'm from UK, but have lived in Spain for the past five years. I have a young daughter and last year, when I split with her step-dad I decided to explore my sexuality--the sexuality I had ignored for YEARS! I came out as bisexual to my friends and this year, came out as a lesbian. The only thing that helped me understand me were the "How to be a happy Lesbian" and the "Coming Out Advice" and "Relationship Advice" support books by Tracey and Kathy, who started the support group. I cannot express enough to everyone to get these books and read them. If you find this support group helpful, these books will really be the icing on the cake! Tara, Barcelona, Spain

Chapter 4 Childhood and Sexual Abuse Issues

1. I was molested as a little girl. Is that why I’m a lesbian now?
   
2. I’ve got childhood sexual abuse issues with men; am I really lesbian?
   
3. SFLCO Member Commentary: I do not think that we become lesbian because of traumatic childhood events.
   
4. Could I be lesbian because I was gang-raped?
5. I was abused as a child. Is that why I’m into Bondage and S&M?
6. I had child sexual abuse. Would it help my marriage to bring in another woman to help me handle my sexual problems?
7. I had childhood abuse, and I feel my life has been ruined by it. What can I do to help myself?
   
8. My GF had sexual abuse as a child. How do I handle it?
   
9. I am scared that I can not be with a woman, because I am terrified of penetration.
   
10. My ex-husband is abusing my daughter! What can I do?
    
11. Will childhood abuse make me an abuser to my own kids?
    
12. What childhood abuse is normal?
13. I need help to escape an abusive situation for my children. Where can I go?
    
14. I need to leave my abusive husband, but I don’t know how?
    
15. What can I do to help with fear issues about my past abuse?
    
16. Commentary by Tracey: Coping With Abuse
    
17. Why is there Child Abuse?
18. Repressed Childhood Memories Are they true?
19. How do I know if I was abused?
20. I had traumatic child abuse. Can therapy help me?
21. Does therapy really do any good?
22. What to do about a Stalker

READER REVIEW: My favorite part of your Advice book is the section on Stalking. I tried to be nice and not stir things up with my ex-husband, but all I accomplished was giving him more control! I read the section you wrote with advice on stalking, and you said, “We teach people how to treat us. If you slide the limits you set, then your partner will have learned just how far to push you to cave in." I do think I have taught my ex-husband well, because I used to fight with him everyday, but reading the advice that was in this one section of your book has helped me to make sense of what I had to do to stop his nasty behavior, and it is time for him to leave me alone! Thanks ladies! Ann R, York Town, PA

Chapter 5 Coping with the straight world

1. All Gay People CHOOSE their Lifestyles! Letter to the Editor By Tracey Stevens
2. I’ve always been affectionate with the men I dated. Why can’t I kiss my GF in public?
   
3. someone cruelly outted me at work, but I could swear this person is also lesbian. What’s up with that?
4. Question: I’m having problems with the men at my work. This seems to happen at every job I have. What can I do?
   
5. Should I tell the guy I am dating and people at my work that I am a lesbian?
   
6. I’m living at home with my mother and in my first lesbian relationship. My straight friend thinks I am disrespecting my GF by not coming out to everyone in my life. What do you think?

READER REVIEW: I love both your new Coming Out and Relationship Advice books. You deal with some very difficult issues in a very frank and to the point manner, yet you do it very lovingly and with amazing humor and wisdom. I highly recommend these books to every newly out lesbian. In fact, I'm sure the books will be helpful to all lesbians no matter what stage of coming out they are in. You give us all of your sage advice and wisdom from coming out as teenagers to coming out later in life; from internalized homophobia and self-hated to self love and acceptance of ourselves; from meeting other lesbians online and in the real world, to dating and into long term relationships; from leaving abusive relationships (or marriages) into self reliance and standing honestly in our lives as totally actualized lesbians; from a disorganized LGBT community into ideas about creating a cohesive and well organized LGBT community keeping personal differences away from the main goal--a free to be who we are type world with equal rights for all! I highly recommend your books to every lesbian who is struggling with coming out. Heck, it is a great advice book for anyone, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, asexual, etc. This is a very practical and important book that challenges, advises, and supports newly out lesbians as we emerge from hiding in the closet out into the Light of day! DJ Messier, Portland, ME

Chapter 6 General Living Advice

1. What do I do when everything seems to be going wrong?
2. Should I Come Out at Work?
3. A butch woman at my work said she would rather chalk my feelings up to being just curious. Why is that?
   
4. I got fired at work, but I can’t prove it’s because I am lesbian. What can I do?
   
5. What do I do when everyone treats me bad because I am gay?
   
6. Things have really sucked since I came out! What can I do?
   
7. Having had the privilege of a heterosexual relationship, I took for granted all that I am denied now. How do you all deal with this on a daily basis?
   
8. SFLCO Member Commentary: Can someone please explain what a lesbian should look like in today’s society?
   
9. My homophobic daughter has disowned me, and it’s the holidays. How can I cheer myself up?
   
10. Someone told me that being gay is a choice, and that gay marriage has never been legal. Is she right?
    
11. Why do all the women I’m with use me?
12. My GFs are always awful to me. Why do I always pick the wrong women?
    
13. Is it bad to drink when I’m depressed?
14. My mother drank, and I do drugs to cope with being a lesbian Is it genetic?
    
15. My GF’s mother came out to me on her death bed. Any thoughts on this?
    
16. Commentary by Tracey: Look For The Small Miracles in Your Life
    
17. Commentary by Tracey: Following The Little Voices

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