Power of The P, Lesbian Vaginas ruling head and heart

A few years ago, Kathy and I were having dinner at a nice restaurant with a group of friends, and the subject of another mutual friend came up. "Debbo" was in a bad relationship with a woman, whom we'll call KR, and everyone was concerned about how crazy things had gotten in the last few weeks.

Janice said "I just don't understand how Debbo could fall for KR's BS! KR is a liar and a cheat, and every lesbian within a 100 mile radius knows this–"

"Not only that, she's seeing her ex behind Debbo's back!" Audrey chimed in.

"Lori and I saw Debbo drunk as a skunk at the Dark Side last weekend!" Vickie dropped that little bomb, and a hush came over the table.

The Dark Side was the group's made-up name for a gay bar the next town over. It was shocking that Debbo was there drinking, because she had been sober and in AA for many years. As we discussed why Debbo would throw away years of sobriety on someone with a reputation like KR’s, our loudmouthed friend Annie cut in with her opinion of the situation.

“Well it sure ain't no mystery that the Power of The Pussy has struck again–"

"Jeezus, Annie!" Her girlfriend, Tina, exclaimed. She was turning bright red while noticing nearby straight patrons glaring at our dyke table.

"It’s true!" Annie proclaimed, and then launched into "Everybody knows that once The Pussy gets involved in a situation, there ain't no turning back, and there sure as hell ain't no reasoning with it."

After getting over the bluntness of her statements, everyone at our table nodded in agreement.

I started thinking of other situations where "The Power of The P" had taken over any rational thought; like another friend who was having serious problems with a woman she was seeing. My friend was getting ready to break it off, when her girlfriend showed up at her house, threw her on a picnic table in the middle of the day, and had a snack pack right there in her back yard! Thank the Goddess there was a privacy fence, and believe me, as "The Power of The P" took over my friend’s mind, all thoughts of breaking up vanished into a red-hot daze.

Then of course there was my own insanity, when my Southern Regions hijacked my brain, and I ended up in a similar situation as my picnic table friend! Anyone who happened to be flying over that swimming pool on that hot June day, got some great tips on eating at the Y via buoyancy of the shoulders of my straight, married, female partner!

This is a period of my life that I refer to as being "Young and Very Dumb," but the sad truth is that for many women, no matter how old we are, once our bodies shift to the "In Lust Gear," our logical minds fly right out the window, and "The Power of The P" can take over.

So in this installment of "The Naked Truth," we will focus on situations to watch out for when "The Power of The P," either your own or someone else's, tries to have its way with you.

Ms. "I am not a lesbian, but..."
This is the person who may swear undying love to you one day, and be back with her boyfriend or husband the next. She may be a lesbian in the closet or a bisexual. In the worst situations, this can also be known as "The Power of The P = Murder and/or Mayhem."

Ms. "I swear I'll be there next time."
This is a woman who asks you to meet her somewhere, but NEVER shows up. Either she is seeing someone else, or has something better to do. Either way, you loose.

Ms. "I had to work late, for the 30th day this month."
This woman's job is more important than you will EVER be. Unless you want to make love with her money, take the Mercedes she loaned you, drive to the nearest airport, and fly, fly, away.

Ms. "Sorry I left my wallet, credit card, cash, at home–AGAIN"
This woman is known as a lesbo sponge. She will have you paying for everything. Is the “Power of Her P” worth you going to the poor house? Only YOU know for sure.

Ms. "WHERE WERE YOU? WHO WERE YOU WITH?"
This woman is jealous of your friends, coworkers, your gynecologist, the hottie UPS driver, your cat, even your neighbor's potbellied pig. Advice: RUN AWAY FAST or GET TO THERAPY NOW!

Ms. "I'm a musician, an artist, a professional surf border, etc..."
This is great if she's making it in these professions, or even if she has a day job and also works her butt off every spare moment to make her life's dream real; but beware of a woman who says she is going to be a star, and expects you to pay her bills until "The Big Break" happens.

Ms. "I love you, but I'm not over my ex."
Also known as "Rebound Sally,” this woman may just be using you to get even with her ex, or she may be truly going through a painful separation. All you can do is hope and pray she comes your way. Advice: set a time limit and stick to it.

Ms. "I swear this is not a UHaul date."
This woman's toothbrush is hanging next to yours, and her bra is draped over your shower rod the first night you meet. If this is a mutual thing, and you both are ready to pack up the truck and move in together, then go for it. If not, unload the truck in HER yard now.

Ms. “RydHer hard and put her up wet.”
This woman is different than Ms. Uhaul, as she usually just wants to hop on and ride, ride, ride. This woman may not tell you that she has been called a slut-puppy for most of her life. This is a dangerous woman, with pupils that are constantly overrunning her irises. "The Power of Her P" may be almost impossible to resist. Words to hear while all logic fades into your throbbing southern regions: BEWARE–STDs!

Ms. "I only drink socially."
This is great if it is true, but beware of women who will drink away your money at night, and lay passed out on your floor all day.

Ms. "I'll kill you if..."
This is a dangerous, abusive, woman who needs professional help to control her anger issues. You can not do this for her, so best advice: SAVE YOURSELF–LEAVE NOW.

Ms. "It's always: your fault, your past, your childhood, your problem..."
It takes two to make or break a relationship. Get counseling or get out.

Ms. "Yeah but..."
This woman will act like she agrees with you, but she really never does. She may argue with you to the day you die. Good luck.

Ms. "I can do that better!"
This woman is resentful of anything you are good at. She may, or may not, be able to do it better, but either way, she's not letting you shine.

Ms. "Online lover–only."
This woman swears undying love to you, but when you make plans to meet her, she will suddenly disappear. She could be insecure, scared, or not who she says she is; she could be a man. ADVICE: If you ever do meet "her," always arrange to do so in a public place, and always tell a trusted friend your plans.

Ms. "I swear that video recorder is not on."
This is a woman who may have a degree in electronics, and knows how to disable the Recording light. The good news is that you may be having wide exposure with your own online film next week; the bad news is it may be your own little P that is exposed, and you probably won't get any royalties either!

Remember, always play safe when "The Power of The P" strikes you!